New Years eve is a time to reflect on the past year and then look forward to the coming year.
Each year brings it's challenges and 2012 was no different. With those challenges always comes
the opportunity to learn and grow as a human being. I know that some things can be so painful we would rather sweep them under the rug and try to forget about them. However, they will fester under there and create speed bumps on your path. They will slow down your self-growth and with that, your ability to live a full and happy life.
This year was a year of being disowned and choosing to disown. It was hard, painful, hurtful and forced me to take a long hard look at who I have been and who I want to be.
In January I was unceremoniously disowned by my oldest sister, through her daughter by e-mail. Ouch. As painful as that sounds it came as no surprise. My oldest sister has so many speed bumps under her life's rug it has turned into a roller coast ride. A ride she can barely hold onto emotionally. My heart bleeds for her.
I have not written about this purely because every time I went to do it I felt so negative I couldn't stand the energy around it. However, stay tuned. I do have a lot to say about it and if I have any resolution this year, it will be to write about how we can "function with dysfunction" in our lives.
Later this year I came to my own conclusions about my childhood, how I reacted to the dysfunction in our family and how it continued to impact my life now, at fifty one years old. With that I had to let go of a very old relationship.
Yes, for the first time in my life I disowned someone. In doing that it opened up old wounds that had been festering. I was finally able to roll up the rug, scrape, scrub and mop up the mess and lay it down again for a smooth ride. What an immense relief.
Aside for these cathartic events, my year in 2012 has been very blessed. I continue to enjoy a beautiful life. I have been married to the love of my life for 29 years. I have two incredibly amazing sons who are out there creating their own lives. I have learned not to let anything or anyone compromise this happiness. What a dishonour that would be to us as a family.
I will look back on 2012 with admiration for providing me with the ability to learn and grow and live this blessed life to the fullest.
In 2013 I promise to write more, share the journey and hopefully help you along yours. I will not hide the bumps nor will I shy away from sharing the glory of this one precious life I have to live.
I wish you a beautiful year in 2013 full of growth, promise, health and peace.
3 comments:
YOU ARE PRECIOUS!
What a year you've had. You have reached beyond your comfort zone on so many levels and shone anyway! Hmmmm... guess that says something marvellous about you!
Not only that, but you've had enough left over to support others who are struggling. People like me....who are hanging on by their fingernails, because they know life is wonderful, and that good will prevail.
It's a tough road at times. Thanks for understanding and sharing! Happy New Year!
Thanks for making the rest of us feel normal. This has been a huge year for you - lots of change, ups and downs. Guess you're growing up! because you handle it all in the best possible light, AND have enough left over to help others, who need encouragement. Good for you! Happy New Year! xox Deirdre
You are an amazing person Louise Aspden! As you know, I have similar struggles, so I feel your pain. I am encouraged that that pain is lifting. Thank you for your awesome wisdom. We learn from each other. Looking forward to your promise of more blogs this year!
Post a Comment