Mirror, Mirror

This past weekend we attended a big gala. I decided it was a good opportunity to get my hair done as a trial run for our sons wedding. When I got home my husband bumbled around trying not to say anything negative. I kept looking in the mirror with total uncertainty. I wanted to like it. I paid for it. I needed something to count on for the wedding. 

Then, bless her heart, we picked up our friend and she took one look at me and shrieked, “you look like Elvira!” OK. Thank you. That settles it. Out it comes, back to the drawing board.

True friends aren’t afraid to name the proverbial white elephant in your life. They may not do it with such a shriek, but they are there to hold up a mirror to you and help you see what you can’t or don’t want to see. That is what can make them so valuable.

Sometimes, in order for us to make the changes we want to in our lives we have to take a good hard look at where we are and what we need to change. That can be difficult and even painful. As in Alcoholics Anonymous, you must admit to who you have become before you can begin to take the steps to change.

In the field of weight loss, most programs out there have a journaling aspect to them. For Weight Watchers, it is an integral part of our program. I tell my members it is the best information they will get from the program. It is you being honest with the only person who matters in this quest for health and fitness, you! It helps you hold up a mirror to your eating and activity habits.

It can be an act of bravery to put into writing, habits that you have been sweeping under the table for many years, if not your entire life. But, if you don’t do it you really cannot see where you can begin making the changes you need to succeed.

In any area of your life, journaling can help you make sense of your life. It can help you put the pieces of the puzzle together and find a way to make it all work. 

Three years ago I joined Weight Watchers vowing to learn to manage my weight and stop the yo-you dieting before I hit 50. It has been a slow change and I still struggle. I still have days where I don’t want to admit that I ate half a brick of cheese or drank too much wine, but I now know that when I write it down I find a way to deal with it.

What are you sweeping under the table?

Idols, Mothers and Mentors

Who do you want to be when you grow up? I am still undecided, but I get closer each and every year.

Childhood Dreams

As a little girl, I dreamt of growing up to be like Snow White or Cinderella. I wanted a pretty tiara, golden carriage, a beautiful ball gown and glass slippers. Anything was possible at five years old.

Teen Idols

As a young teen I wanted to be Farah Fawcett or Valerie Bertanelli. Being glamorous, popular and weathly was exciting. Imagine wearing the trendiest clothes, being a magazine cover story and dating rock stars! I would be so popular. Heck, worth dreaming about rather than living the teenage angst of pimples, periods, homework, bullying and stupid, hormonal and immature boys!

Adult Learning

As an adult woman I internalized my focus and tried to be the best wife and mother I could be. My models or mentors through these years have been my friends and family. I have been fortunate enough to have great women in my life. They have provided me with some of life’s greatest lessons and some serious entertainment.  Through their life experiences and wisdom I have grown. I have sifted through it all and found what I needed to continue on my journey.

Middle Aged Models

Recently, I was watching an episode of the Young & The Restless. Yes, I have watched this since 1972, get over it. Actress Jeanne Cooper is 82. She plays Katherine Chancellor and is a feisty, value based, healthy and active woman. As I watched her character, Kay Chancellor, dig her heals in and speak her truth not compromising her values in yet another ridiculous and stressful situation I thought... “I want to be like her when I am 82”.

Boy, times have changed. I have evolved from admiring good looks and wealth, to wives and mothers and now, at almost 50, I am looking up to an 82 year old woman. When I look at “Kay” I see a strong and resilient woman who has weathered life, taken her licks, learned lessons and now lives by her values. She (both the character and the actress) is healthy and active and loves her family and friends. Believe me, I am blessed to know these kind of women in my real life! How lucky am I?

We move through life, at whatever stage, gauging ourselves against other people around us. We see the kinds of behaviors and characteristics we admire and we try to mirror them. Also, we see the side of people we don’t want to emulate and learn to avoid or change those patterns in ourselves. That is, if we are wise enough to recognize the learning opportunities as they present themselves.

If this is so then also remember that we are being watched as well. We are all leaders in our lives. Who is watching you and what are they learning?