I sat down to write today and was going to start with a favourite quote of mine:
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its trouble - it empties today of its strength"
Then I had an inkling that maybe I had blogged about this before so I searched around and found a post from last February: The Kids Are Alright. As I read it I laughed to myself as I was going to write the exact same thing yet again.
So, the journey of worrying about my kids remains. An older and dear friend of mine told me “Honey, you don’t stop worrying about them until you are six feet under”. Her kids are my age.
As the mother of two sons, I have been the only female in our household all these years. Over the years, when I worried about our sons or my husband I felt I was the only one who could see the reasons why to worry.
I will admit there were many instances that I worried for no good reason. But there have been times where my gut did tell me the right story and I was happy I listened.
The thing with males is that they are hard-wired to hunt, gather, fight or flight. So, in the same situation I will lay awake all night worrying and my husband will be snoring. He will go off to work and be able to focus, I will be a mess.
I had a beautiful call with a dear friend and life coach who helped me see a whole other element to my worrying that I did not recognize. I feel guilty for worrying. OMG, talk about salt on a wound.
I can see how that happened as I have many times been the only one who worried as the other three males in the house went on with life seemingly unaffected, telling me to stop worrying.
Do you realize telling a mother to stop worrying is like yelling at the sky to stop raining?
As I grow older I have learned to be more discerning about what/who I worry about and how much I let it affect me. Having said that, I have also learned to trust my gut instincts when I feel it deeply enough to lose sleep.
Sorry guys, but the reality is I will worry about you whether you like it or not. That’s what good mothers do.